Thar' She Blows

Yesterday at my appointment, I was shocked that I lost weight this past week. In fact, I think it was unfair that I did, since my week was less than par. This morning as I type this I am -28 ! That is only two pounds away from being half way there! I know it must sound weird when I say, "I wish I wouldn't have lost". However, last week wasn't pretty. I don't want to fight off the next 32 pounds believing I can get away with what I did last week. I know I can't.

So-last week started off with a bang. Everything was running smooth like a well oiled truck. Lately, I have been cooking meals for Mitchy Poo. The 1st week I cooked, I focused on making him things I didn't like. However, last week, I made the mistake making him things I craved. Some parents live vicariously through their children. Look at Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay Lohan, who is the poster child for living vicariously through their child! Nonetheless, I quickly realized that I can't live vicariously through the meals I make for Mitchy.

One night I found myself in the grocery store picking something up for Mitch. Then it happened, I walked by the garlic bread. "Mitch would love pasta and garlic bread!" I thought to myself. To make matters worse,I was also picking up ingredients for banana bread. Mitch hasn't been eating breakfast, so I thought I would treat him to a loaf of banana bread. I have never made banana bread before but I relish it whenever it is offered.

Once I got home and unloaded my groceries, I became a horse and started grazing. My rationalization was "it's just one bite". Two days later and I was a walking verse from 'Old McDonald Had A Farm" - - - "with a bite-bite here, and a bite-bite there. Here a bite-there a bite-everywhere a bite-bit" --

The difference is, new Joy, knew this was wrong. Old Joy would have just blown the whole week and said, "fuck it - this was so worth it". Even when I took a bite, that was the end of it. An hour later I was back on track and the next day started with focus. Although the day didn't end in focus, I didn't blow the entire day.

I am proud to see my mind changing even this early in the game. Even though I had a rough week, I quickly regained my focus and didn't just blow it. In the past I would often put off for tomorrow what I could do today. I would get into diet mode, start a diet at 730am and give into treats at work by 1030a and then go ahead and eat whatever I wanted that evening....thus moving the diet start date to tomorrow. I would now advise my friends and even my own mom, not to blow the entire day. If you splurge at lunch, doesn't mean you are entitled to splurge for the rest of the week, weekend, or even day. Have your moment, forgive yourself, refocus, and move on.

23 Pounds Down - 100,000 Temptations To Go

Well, my blog is moving from daily to weekly as you can tell. The first week, I really needed to vent my way through it, but now, I am calm, collected, and doing well. Okay, so that is exterior Joy, but interior Joy wants pizza. Not just any pizza-Hotel Shoreham pizza! Last Friday was a very awkward day for me. Just the thought of drinking the shakes made me feel like I was going to hurl. I got to the point that I would have to pretty much slam them down like a shot (ahhh-college memories). It was awful. I try to change the texture of my shakes up a little. Pour them over ice, freeze them into a slush, but I feel my body is starting to develop a food aversion to them. Which doesn't surprise me....all I have done for the last four weeks is drink every meal. Hopefully this program doesn't ruin chocolate malts for me. I have a few moments a day that I can chew my bar and nibble on my pickle, but it just isn't doing the trick.

This feeling continued into this week. Finally last night, I thought I needed a break and a real meal. Mitch came home and I fed him dinner. With him, I had a few bites of green beans and tuna salad. I would say I had a total of six or eight bites. I'm not going to lie-it was awesome and I don't even like tuna. Mitch was very concerned that from those few bites I would gain five pounds back...but I didn't. This morning I am -23 and doing okay. The funny thing is, I think my stomach has really shrunk up. I was full after those few bites!!! I still have a slight gagging experience when I drink my shakes, but too bad.

In one of my classes we discussed how bad and unhealthy it is to eat in front of the TV. This is pretty much how Mitch and I ate our meals for the past ten years. I prefer eating at the table, but followed along. We both agreed that we would eat at the table when the kiddos arrived. Well, I learned something that has stuck in my head. When you eat in front of the TV you eat twice as much food! WHY? Because, as you sit there and shovel in, you are not focusing on how much food you take in, how fast you eat, or your full signs. In fact, you don't even come up to breathe. There is no pause in eating because nobody is talking (duh-remember, the TV is on). Your mind is enjoying this BIG meal because it is actually focused on and enjoying the TV you are watching-not your meal.TV shows move so quickly, as do our forks going from our plate to our mouth-repeat over and over again.

So when I told Mitch that our days of eating in front of the TV are over, he protested. I told him, certain things wont count. Who doesn't eat pizza in front of the TV while watching a movie or a favorite TV show? His protest didn't last long. The last few meals I made for him, he willingly sat at the table (with the TV off) and we chatted. It was great! Five points for Mitchy Poo!!!

Mitch continues to eat and request naughty treats like ice cream. But I have been making sure the things I buy him are things I don't like. Drumsticks, ice cream flavors that are icky to me. Two nights ago he requested ice cream. I told him I would buy him a little pint of Ben and Jerrys and he requested the Peanut Butter Cup kind. I returned, gave him his ice cream and stood there as he read the label. Serving Size per carton: FOUR ... Calories per serving: 300... Fat per serving 18....Carbs per serving: 45. Normally it is nothing for Mitchy to put down that little tub of goodness (same goes for me too), BUT...he ate a tish over half and said, "I better save the rest of this for tomorrow. I don't need all of this." PRAISE GOD!!! MITCH IS LISTENING TO ME AND TAKING BABY STEPS TO IMPROVE!