Thar' She Blows

Yesterday at my appointment, I was shocked that I lost weight this past week. In fact, I think it was unfair that I did, since my week was less than par. This morning as I type this I am -28 ! That is only two pounds away from being half way there! I know it must sound weird when I say, "I wish I wouldn't have lost". However, last week wasn't pretty. I don't want to fight off the next 32 pounds believing I can get away with what I did last week. I know I can't.

So-last week started off with a bang. Everything was running smooth like a well oiled truck. Lately, I have been cooking meals for Mitchy Poo. The 1st week I cooked, I focused on making him things I didn't like. However, last week, I made the mistake making him things I craved. Some parents live vicariously through their children. Look at Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay Lohan, who is the poster child for living vicariously through their child! Nonetheless, I quickly realized that I can't live vicariously through the meals I make for Mitchy.

One night I found myself in the grocery store picking something up for Mitch. Then it happened, I walked by the garlic bread. "Mitch would love pasta and garlic bread!" I thought to myself. To make matters worse,I was also picking up ingredients for banana bread. Mitch hasn't been eating breakfast, so I thought I would treat him to a loaf of banana bread. I have never made banana bread before but I relish it whenever it is offered.

Once I got home and unloaded my groceries, I became a horse and started grazing. My rationalization was "it's just one bite". Two days later and I was a walking verse from 'Old McDonald Had A Farm" - - - "with a bite-bite here, and a bite-bite there. Here a bite-there a bite-everywhere a bite-bit" --

The difference is, new Joy, knew this was wrong. Old Joy would have just blown the whole week and said, "fuck it - this was so worth it". Even when I took a bite, that was the end of it. An hour later I was back on track and the next day started with focus. Although the day didn't end in focus, I didn't blow the entire day.

I am proud to see my mind changing even this early in the game. Even though I had a rough week, I quickly regained my focus and didn't just blow it. In the past I would often put off for tomorrow what I could do today. I would get into diet mode, start a diet at 730am and give into treats at work by 1030a and then go ahead and eat whatever I wanted that evening....thus moving the diet start date to tomorrow. I would now advise my friends and even my own mom, not to blow the entire day. If you splurge at lunch, doesn't mean you are entitled to splurge for the rest of the week, weekend, or even day. Have your moment, forgive yourself, refocus, and move on.