I would like to thank all of the amazing people in my life that have supported me in this. I have appreciated every comment and I have to say, they have been sooo motivational. But people - you have to stop! I know that seems weird and rude, but the thing is ... I'm not done. I have to stay focused.
Although I LOVE hearing how healthy I look. I loved my mother saying, "I couldn't recognize you walking through the parking lot!" Jimmy (my step dad) went on and on when I saw him for the 1st time in about 40lbs. My friends say things like "skinny" "awesome" "sexy", etc... Everyone, everywhere, has nothing but good things to say about me. Thank you a million times over! But it has to stop! Mom-I know you are sooo proud of me-but you are the WORST! I am blessed to have you love me that much and give me that much attention and praise - but you too have to stop!
I went to my meeting last week and discussed with my counselor how these comments are very hard to hear right now. I know most of you are thinking, 'she is crazy' 'what a bitch' ... but there is more. The reason why I need these comments to stop is because I can't afford to get comfortable. I have a LONG-LONG way to go and right now, I am feeling WAY TOO comfortable.
Instead, I need my support group to become a hard-ass coach. I need the inner drill Sargent to come out of everyone to PUSH ME to the finish line. The other day, I slid on a pair of size 12 DKNY jeans my mom gave me months ago. I honestly thought I would never fit into them. Just like that...I slid them on, zipped them up, and buttoned them. The best part is I could move in them. I wore them to work on Friday and glowed. This is when people get comfortable. People start to think, "good enough". It sounds silly to say, but I am honestly feeling that way in the back of my mind, even though I don't want to feel or think that way. I am fighting against those thoughts.
With all of the praise, the accomplishment that I have made this far can easily be considered 'enough' ... but in my case, it can't. It isn't good enough. I have a long way to go. I can't afford to settle for what I have gotten done so far and that is what is in the back of my mind. I had a hard weekend and I struggled bad (mini-muffins at school, soup at home, and Wheat Thins) with nibbling on food. I have three weeks left of my shakes. I need...I want...4 or 5 pound weeks. I need to go back to square one and get refocused and get the job I started to do done.
My counselor says it helps to have an incentive to help motivate through the last weeks. Well, I already have a hubby that is pretty good at spoiling me. I've had to already buy clothes (thanks to the power of rationalization of "I need them for work". I reached the weight loss requirements for a new car (Mitch's original motivation that will most likely never happen)...I'm very happy and don't need a lot right now. Although the hope of getting preggo is great motivation ... it is also the quickest way to depress me. So...an incentive isn't really going to do much for me.
In closing, I will say this. "Dear God, give me the strength to continue loosing weight,the knowledge to keep it off, and money to pay for plastic surgery to smooth out the rough edges...."
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
48 Pounds .... Holy Crap-On-A-Cracker
As I look at my past blogs, I remember vividly how BIG of a deal it was when I got to type "23 POUNDS DOWN!!!". Now, here I am at 48 pounds lost and I can't believe it. My road to being healthy continues with little road construction & detours. The only downside to this whole adventure (Note: It is a GREAT PROBLEM TO HAVE) is how expensive this journey has been. I'm not talking about the doctor bills, I'm talking about the clothes.
As you know, I'm down two sizes and I am honestly, about 10-15 pounds from hitting the next size. Currently, my 14's are belted to keep them from falling down (P.S. Thanks to my mother for giving me a FLAT TUSHY! There is no junk in my trunk to keep things on my hips!). The other day while in Grand Forks, I ran into Old Navy to grab another pair of jeans. I actually had a pair of size 12's on ... but it was pretty scary! My legs looked thin! However, any excess fat on my thighs traveled right over my hips and into my stomach. I didn't look like a cute little muffin, instead I looked like the world's largest mushroom! But-they were on-zipped-and buttoned! Yippee!
Speaking of belly fat. I really wish I could harvest all of the fat in my stomach and inject it in my but! They make home waxing kits, people pierce their own ears, sheep are castrated with rubber-bands ... where are the home plastic surgery kits??!! I have watched so many episodes of Dr. 90210, I am certain I could preform my own tummy tuck-or lipo procedure! My stomach is so soft and squshy it is really gross. Prior to the weight loss, I had good fat. It was hard and wasn't really hard to handle. Now, that it is breaking down, and lacking any kind of physical activity, it is bad. Everyone, I have a Santa Claus belly! It's true ... "like a bowl full of jelly"... that's me! At least with Christmas around the corner, I'll blend in with the decorations!
There is one thing that this process has taken from me. Luckily for me, like underwear, jeans, shirts and belts ... I can also buy new ones. That's right. I am loosing my girls! I went from a DD to a D ! My poor hubby (who is a 'boob man') is loosing his favorite sidekicks. Hopefully this doesn't gross out to many people ... I know there are plenty of women out there who are married to a 'boob man'. I had to marry one - it's not like I could have married a guy who likes badonkedonks, I don't have one of those.
For all of those mothers out there who worry, don't worry about my openess about plastic surgery. I have always been a believer in what I call, "Prevenitive Maintance". I don't plan to follow Joan Rivers' or Cher's footsteps. I am more of a Kate Gosslin. I'll put it in HGTV lingo for my mom ... I don't want to tear down, and build a new addition. I just want to re-finish with slight updates.
Wow-this blog went from weightloss to plastic surgery. I have 25 pounds to go ... a few kids and a few more laugh lines before I start the 2nd part of this blog! Again, thank you everyone for your support. I appreciate everyone who looks in on me through this process.
As you know, I'm down two sizes and I am honestly, about 10-15 pounds from hitting the next size. Currently, my 14's are belted to keep them from falling down (P.S. Thanks to my mother for giving me a FLAT TUSHY! There is no junk in my trunk to keep things on my hips!). The other day while in Grand Forks, I ran into Old Navy to grab another pair of jeans. I actually had a pair of size 12's on ... but it was pretty scary! My legs looked thin! However, any excess fat on my thighs traveled right over my hips and into my stomach. I didn't look like a cute little muffin, instead I looked like the world's largest mushroom! But-they were on-zipped-and buttoned! Yippee!
Speaking of belly fat. I really wish I could harvest all of the fat in my stomach and inject it in my but! They make home waxing kits, people pierce their own ears, sheep are castrated with rubber-bands ... where are the home plastic surgery kits??!! I have watched so many episodes of Dr. 90210, I am certain I could preform my own tummy tuck-or lipo procedure! My stomach is so soft and squshy it is really gross. Prior to the weight loss, I had good fat. It was hard and wasn't really hard to handle. Now, that it is breaking down, and lacking any kind of physical activity, it is bad. Everyone, I have a Santa Claus belly! It's true ... "like a bowl full of jelly"... that's me! At least with Christmas around the corner, I'll blend in with the decorations!
There is one thing that this process has taken from me. Luckily for me, like underwear, jeans, shirts and belts ... I can also buy new ones. That's right. I am loosing my girls! I went from a DD to a D ! My poor hubby (who is a 'boob man') is loosing his favorite sidekicks. Hopefully this doesn't gross out to many people ... I know there are plenty of women out there who are married to a 'boob man'. I had to marry one - it's not like I could have married a guy who likes badonkedonks, I don't have one of those.
For all of those mothers out there who worry, don't worry about my openess about plastic surgery. I have always been a believer in what I call, "Prevenitive Maintance". I don't plan to follow Joan Rivers' or Cher's footsteps. I am more of a Kate Gosslin. I'll put it in HGTV lingo for my mom ... I don't want to tear down, and build a new addition. I just want to re-finish with slight updates.
Wow-this blog went from weightloss to plastic surgery. I have 25 pounds to go ... a few kids and a few more laugh lines before I start the 2nd part of this blog! Again, thank you everyone for your support. I appreciate everyone who looks in on me through this process.
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