Gasoline and Salad Dressing

While reading my handy dandy program binder, I discovered I could have rabbit food aka...lettuce, celery, cucumbers and this one kind of dressing. I dashed to the grocery store trying VERY HARD not to be distracted by all of the things I wish I was buying. I grabbed some veggies, my salad dressing and some spring lettuce mix. Dreaming about chewing, I fixed me up a spring salad mix with my Ceaser dressing. I bought Ceaser because I thought, that was the one kind of dressing that would taste good ... boy was I wrong.

One bite into my salad and my lips burned! I felt as if I just took a shot of Hot Damn. All a sudden, my sinuses cleared up and I could feel the burn creap down my throat. "What the fuck is in this," I thought to my self as I grabbed the bottle. The answer- nothing. No calories, no carbs, no sugar-NOTHING! I am not sure how they begin to make this dressing, than I thought of my mom, my big brother and all cooking fanatic friends who all know one thing....no matter what you make, there is a base to it. Flour is used for breads (including cupcakes ..... hmmmmm cupcakes), butter for sauce and gravy, chicken scraps for broth, everything out there has a base. I came to realize the only thing that could be so painful in this world that is in liquid form to be used in this dressing has got to be gasoline! This dressing smelled like gas, what I can only assume tasted like gas, and had the texture of gas. Sweet Jesus!

After adding half of a diced up cucumber to my salad to take away from the gasoline dressing, I choked it down and tried to enjoy being able to chew. Although the thought entered my mind, maybe I should just drink gasoline on the rocks and at least get high from it...but just my luck, there is probably calories in gasoline!

Day two is off and running. I got on the scale today and lost 3.5 pounds. I was a bit surprised because I drank a two liter bottle of fluid yesterday and three Flinstone Vitamins (don't judge me-that is the closest thing to candy I will have for months). Nonetheless, I peed out 3.5lbs in twelve hours and I'm stoked! I am also pleased to report that my husband was welcomed for dinner at our good friends house. They stuffed him full of brats and taters! When he returned home last night, the only thing he has was ice tea (ironically - that is on my list as things I can have).

I did have a family call me at work and ask for recommendations for places to have lunch in Valley City. As I was describing our local eats, Pizza Corner and Budget Burger, I have to admit, I closed my eyes and pictured Taco Pizza and a Mushroom and Swiss burger. Before my program is over, I am sure I will spiritually connect with Mr. Jimmy Buffet and dream that I am a Cheese Burger in Paradise!