Ode To The Scale

After two days of drama and an abusive assault on every pickle in my house, yesterday was the big day! Weigh in day! Every woman out there weighs herself the same way. In the morning, we wake up, strip down, pee (in hopes to get rid of those extra ounces) and maybe take a lil #2. We walk over to the scale, make sure it's level and square and slowly breeze ourselves onto it. In fact, I am sure I am not the only one who has caught herself "sucking in" even though it won't help us one bit. We look down and one of two things happen. If we loose weight, a beam of joy circumferences our bodies. If we gain it, we forcefully step off, and kick it back into its resting place. I have also adjusted the scale just in case it wasn't level and tried again. No matter what weigh in pattern you do ... it's never fun. However this morning the scale read -9 pounds! My GOAL!!!!!

So after I got off work I ran home and changed, maybe I should say stripped. I removed everything I didn't need (The night before I trimmed my toenails, shaved everywhere and buffed my heels-this is death-con-five). No ring, no hair tie and I brushed all the hairspray out of my hair. I want to be as light as possible. Lets face it, weighing at 4pm in the afternoon is not exactly the same as in the morning. Its FAR WORSE!!! I looked in the mirror and said good bye to my sensible cotton briefs and found a light and thin pair of workout pants and the smallest, thinnest t-shirt from Old Navy. Grabbed my flip-flops (because lets face it...socks add up too) and I was ready to go. Luckily I still looked good and didn't go into the office looking like a carnival worker.

I arrived and checked in, grabbed my goodies for the upcoming week, and then my name was called. They escorted me into the small room in the back and said, "lets do it". Trying to NOT do my weird weigh in rituals like at home, I mounted up, closed my eyes and listen to things beep at me. At this point...she didn't tell me how I did. Off to the next small room ... time for blood pressure (which of course has got to be skyrocketing ... I mean ... having to weigh in will cause any woman's pressure to go up!).

"Great Job, you've lost 9 pounds", in less than one second after she said that, both of my arms were above my head, and I was dancing in Philly like Rocky! "YEAH!" I said out loud, ecstatic! Then she said the words nobody wants to hear.... "Oh wait, sorry, my mistake. It is 7.5 pounds" That bitch took 1.5 away from me! Nonetheless, 7.5 pounds in 7 days is great. The nurses and the doctor were very please. In fact, they told me one pound of that is fluid and 6.5 pounds of that I lost in PURE FAT!!! Does anyone out there know how much fat that is? If you are unsure, go to your freezer and take out 6 pounds of hamburger - that's right baby! It is a lot. So I am a happy camper and ready for week two. My doctor said I was doing great and I should reach the 40lb mark in six weeks. Boooyaaaa!

This morning I weighed in at home, like I do every morning, and the scale said I was down 11. So I think there is a 3lb give or take situation here. So again, one week down ... just a few more to go. Thanks everyone who reads this and is cheering me along the way. I would also like to report that Mitchy Poo is behaving MUCH better and has cheered me on everyday. Thank goodness!